Heart and Soul
Mark A Davis
168
The camera rolled over the studio crowd and up to the stage, where a young, dark-skinned woman with long, braided black hair and an older woman with white hair sat on a plush couch, while a third woman with blonde hair and a perky smile sat behind a desk. The camera focused on the third woman, who smiled brightly and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Cupcake Corner! I'm your host, Cathy Cupcake, and today's theme is Girlhood.
"Our first guest was Ivana Pitosin, author of the award-winning teen series The Girl In The Glass Tower. The first book will be a major motion picture this summer! Our second guest was Ojal Dani, the extremely reclusive former Bollywood film star who originally hails from New York, and who in her nineties continues to look no more than twenty-five. She claims to simply have the heart of a girl -- but we know she's a powerful sorceress, and was in fact the Supreme Sorceress of the World in 2010. Ladies, wouldn't we all like to have access to such magic?
"Now please welcome our third guest. She's Grandpa Anarchy's current sidekick, she's the avatar of Isis, she's the heroine known as You Go Girl. Please give her a hand!"
A boy with long brown hair strode onto the stage. He was about seventeen and wore black jeans and a tee shirt upon which were the words Grandpa Punched First. He shook Cathy's hand and settled in next to Ojal Dani.
"He," the boy said.
Cathy Cupcake frowned. "Pardon?"
"I said he. He's the heroine known as You Go Girl -- or rather, he's the boy who transforms into the heroine. You see, when I'm not transformed, I'm a guy."
Cathy's smile beamed like a spotlight. "Of course!" she said. "But we had an internal meeting on this very subject, and we decided that, since you're a girl hero...."
"Only when I'm transformed," said the boy. "Look, it's quite simple: when I'm not transformed I'm a normal boy. When I transform, I am a girl -- I would say a normal girl, but since I'm the avatar of a goddess that's not really true. I'm not a transgendered superhero, because I'm either fully male or fully female at any given time, but it's obviously complicated to explain and I don't mind being a spokesman for transgendered heroes...."
"Or a spokeswoman?" asked Cathy brightly.
The boy sighed. "Yes, when I am transformed."
The hostess flashed another smile. "Very good! Now, I understand that Grandpa Anarchy couldn't be here -- something about an investigation into a very old murder case -- but then you're the one we wanted to meet. Your real name is Chris, isn't that right? That seems very convenient -- Chris works as a name for a boy or a girl."
"Yes," said the boy patiently.
"And you became a superhero -- heroine, that is -- when you accidentally discovered your mother's ancient magical ring?"
The boy held up his right hand for the cameras. On it was a ring of gold, with a design inlaid with red stone. It looked like an ankh, but with the arms pointing downward. "This is called a tyet," the boy said. "It's the knot of Isis, a symbol of eternal life or resurrection." He paused, then added, "I -- accidentally found it, as you said. It was in my mother's inner sanctum, behind three locked doors sealed with magic and within a hidden wall safe sealed with more magic." The boy grinned and added, "It called out to me."
"My goodness!" Cathy exclaimed. "Of course, your great grandfather was an archaeologist in Egypt, and both your mother and grandmother were superheroines in their time." On the overhead screen appeared a black and white image of a dark-haired girl in a toga, bending a steel bar. Cathy sighed. "You know, I was such a fan of the Daughter of Isis when I was a girl! What I think we'd all like to see a demonstration -- can you transform for us?"
"Sure," the boy said. He stood, stepped away from the desk, and raised his hand overhead. The ring glowed. He called out:
"Hail Isis, Mighty mother, daughter of the Nile, of Nut and of Geb, the earth and the sky, Beloved of Osiris, Lady of Peace, Glorious Goddess of life and magic and light, bestow upon me your power and might!"
Chris was lifted into the air and spun about like a dradle. Lights flashed, and the boy transformed. When he landed -- he was a beautiful girl with dark, braided hair, wearing a toga-like dress of white. There were leather sandals with straps to the knees, bracelets of gold inlaid with red stone, armbands, a wide gold Egyptian-style necklace, and a gold circlet on her forehead set with a tyet similar to that of the ring.
The audience erupted in applause. The girl turned slowly about, then sat back down. "Isn't he amazing?" Cathy asked.
"She," the girl replied. "When transformed I am 100% girl, remember? Even my brain changes. I am not exactly myself anymore, I am the avatar of justice for Isis. That's just the way it is."
"Yes, of course," said Cathy, "and you are also incredibly strong and fast. Is that it?"
"Yes," said You Go Girl. "I can't fly, but I can run pretty fast. I'm tough but not invulnerable or anything, except when it comes to magic, since my power is magic based."
Cathy said, "I would have thought you would go by the name your mother used -- Daughter of Isis."
"Technically that is my name," said the girl. "You Go Girl is what the media calls me. See, my first time out, I stopped a bank robbery, and someone in the crowd yelled that at me. A reporter misheard it and thought that was my name, so that's what got printed in the papers. Everyone still uses it." She paused and added, "Of course, there's also the lawsuit...."
"From your mother?" asked Cathy.
"Yes," said the girl, frowning. "So there's a problem with the licensing of the Daughter of Isis name."
Cathy beamed another smile. "Well!" she exclaimed. "There are several questions that we're all dying to know -- such as: what is it like to be a girl with the mind of a boy? Isn't shopping for underwear a bit confusing? And which bathroom do you use?"
You Go Girl sighed. "Miss Cupcake," she said, "it's questions like these that made me really not want to come onto your show. I only agreed because Ms. Ojal Dani was going to be here...."
"Yes, yes," said Cathy, "and she only agreed because you were going to be on... that was a nice catch-22, I thought....."
"I am such a fan!" exclaimed the sorceress.
"Yes, but...." Cathy paused, looking confused. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm being told by my producer that we have a surprise appearance from Grandpa Anarchy himself. He's coming to us live now...."
A video screen image appeared behind the guests, displaying the world's oldest superhero, dressed in his usual gray suit with the anarchy symbol stitched in silver over the left breast. He was looking decidedly grim. "Hello, Mr. Anarchy!" Cathy called out. "Can you hear me?"
"Loud and clear, Cathy!" Grandpa called back.
"Grandpa," said Cathy, "I'm told that you're at a very special location. Can you tell me where you are?"
"Funny you should ask," Grandpa replied. "I'm in the study of one of your guests." He added, "Incidentally, please thank her for flying all the way out to Los Angeles to be on your show. It's been the devil of a time prying her away from her inner sanctum...."
You Go Girl did not react to this information. The silver-haired author Ivana Pitosin looked puzzled. But the actress Ojal Dani leaped to her feet. "What are you doing in my house?" she demanded. "How dare you?"
The camera pulled back, revealing a very cluttered room. Flasks and vials and jars and ancient books lined the shelves. Stacks of yellowing paper were everywhere. Bracelets and necklaces hung from an ornate dagger plunged into the top of a human skull. Two uniformed police officers stood on each side of Grandpa, while in the background stood a regal, bearded man a black suit and high-collared black cape, whom most would recognize as Dark Dr. Dark, Grandpa's ally and the Supreme Sorcerer of the world five years running, non-consecutive.
"Tell me, Cathy," said Grandpa, "Have you ever heard of writer Robert Bloch?"
"Vaguely," said the host.
Grandpa grimaced. "Pulp trash writer, if you ask me. Science fiction, horror, all that crap. Anyway he was famous for saying, 'Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.'"
Grandpa held up a jar to the camera. It was filled with a murky liquid, but something pinkish floated within. "Ms. Dani never finished the phrase," Grandpa said, "but in her case, it was not a joke. Ms. Ojal Dani, you are under arrest for the murder of twelve-year-old Betty Lavelle in New York, 1950. I worked that case, you know, with my very first sidekick...."
"You would dare?" Ojan Dani exclaimed. She leaped to her feet and grabbed You Go Girl by the wrist. "I would have replaced it soon anyway. How much better the heart of an immortal girl?" She cackled loudly as she yanked off the heroine's magic ring. A glowing dagger of violet magic appeared in her hand. She plunged the weapon into You Go Girl's chest.
You Go Girl did not move. The sorceress withdrew the dagger. There was no blood, no mark. "Invulnerable to magic, remember?" said You Go Girl. "Oh, dear, did a former Supreme Sorceress really forget that detail...?"
"But -- the ring..." said Ms. Dani.
"Yes," said You Go Girl. "Very convincing, isn't it? The glow when I transformed was an especially nice touch, I thought."
"There are other ways!" snarled the sorceress, raising her hands, but You Go Girl grabbed her wrists and spun her about, twisting Ms. Dani's arms behind her. She struggled ineffectually.
"Now, we'll have none of that," said the heroine.
"Ms. Dani, the world's forgotten Betty," Grandpa said. "But I haven't. We still have physical evidence from that case -- and once we've verified what's in this jar, there'll be no more movies from you -- for a very long time."
FINI
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