New League of Two-Fisted Justice

New League of  Two-Fisted Justice

Mark A Davis

260

The camera panned over a studio crowd and then zoomed in on the host, seated behind a desk.  This was a perky woman with blonde hair who smiled brightly and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Cupcake Corner!  I'm your host Cathy Cupcake, and today we're talking about the movie New League of Two-Fisted Justice, which finally hits theaters this weekend!"  She turned to her guest -- a young woman in black slacks and a white blouse with long brown hair woven into a braid.  "My guest today is the head of three fanclubs -- the Grandpa Anarchy fanclub, the New League of Two-Fisted Justice fanclub, and the Girls of Two-Fisted Justice fanclub.  She runs websites for all three and is considered the world's foremost expert on Grandpa Anarchy and his companions in the league!  Sarah Mickens, known to many as former Grandpa Anarchy sidekick Kid Continuity!"

After the applause died down, the young woman smiled and said, "I call myself Continuitae now."

"Yes!" exclaimed Cathy.  "And later you're going to demonstrate your transformation sequence for us!  People, you won't believe your eyes!  But right now Sarah, let's talk about the movie.  We've already heard your thoughts on seeing the movie premier last night...."

"I was desperately hoping they'd get this one right," said Sarah, "and let me say again that they nailed it.  It's amazing."

"Well, let's talk about how this movie came together," said Cathy.  "This was a much-anticipated sequel to 2013's very successful Anarchy Is Forever and 2010's Anarchy Rising, and the studio certainly did not expect the sequel to take four years to reach the screen...."

"That's right," said Sarah Mickens.  "But you have to remember, they wanted Cairo Strauss to play the part of Unpossible Man, and he was tied up for more than a year in that Knights Templar movie...."

"Yes, I remember!" Cathy exclaimed.  "There were also rumors of other scheduling conflicts and of fights and problems on the set, and of many reshoots and rewrites.  But I think what amazes people is that not only is the result a surprisingly strong and cohesive movie, but somehow they managed to include all of the new members of the New League of Two-Fisted Justice.  How did the director Hal Lundquist pull this off?  It was only last summer that the League of Two-Fisted Justice got such a dramatic facelift, with no less than six new members...."

"Five," said Sarah.

"Only five?" Cathy replied.  "Well, let's count.  Longtime member Deep Fat Fryer was killed, and was replaced by  his niece Sister Fryer.  Unpossible Man was replaced by his great grandniece, Unpossible Girl, who gained her powers in an accident with an electric potato masher...."

"Noooo," said Kid Continuity quickly.  "Unpossible Girl is Unpossible Man.  He was transformed into a girl by the cosmic alien entity known as the Reality Bender, who comes from beyond the stars...."

Cathy frowned.  "Are you certain?  Because I find the potato masher story more believable and compelling...."

She shrugged and flashed another bright smile.  "Then that would be five.  There's also Circuit Girl, Geothermal Jenny, Girlbot 9000, and Guy Shadow."

"Exactly," said Sarah.  "They split into two teams headed up by Grandpa Anarchy and Dark Dr. Dark, renamed themselves the New League of  Two-Fisted Justice, and began construction on their new, massive headquarters in downtown New York...."

"Yes!  But I think the question on everyone's minds is this:  how did Hal Lundquist know?  By then the movie was already in post-production.  They say he began casting these new parts nine months before the people were even members of  the League!  Plus the way he worked those changes into the plot of the movie, while making this Reality Bender creature the main villain -- well, that's not something you manage overnight.  It's really quite amazing what he's accomplished.  Now, in a moment we'll get to ask the director himself, but first I'll ask you:  how do you think he managed it?"

Sarah Mickens shrugged.  "Maybe a little bird told him?" she suggested.

***

Hal Lundquist stared at his computer screen.  He sighed.  It had been three years since Anarchy Is Forever, and despite multiple screenplays, treatments,  rewrites, and far too many meetings with studio executives, he still wasn't happy with the current script.  He'd finally committed to a date, but he was still struggling to find an approach to the story that justified the big budget he'd been given.  This would be the first movie of its kind -- a superhero ensemble movie,  the world's first movie about a team of superheroes.  The rival studio was scrambling to assemble an Archons of Excellence movie as well.  Hal wanted to get his own movie just right.

Soft classical music played in the background.  He looked across his New York studio -- a vast open space in an older building, which was mostly empty, with posters on the walls, books piled in stacks next to a full shelf, and a large multi-piece couch set where he'd slept the last four nights.

He blinked.  Seated on the couch were two young girls -- no, women, but dressed in very girlish outfits.  They looked like extras from a Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon cartoon.  The one on the right had a skirt of dark purple with a stardust pattern, and wielded a staff with a strange symbol on one end -- a kind of squared-off Celtic knot.  There were amethysts set in a tiara, in bracelets, a necklace, and there were ribbons, bows, and ruffles.  The second girl was similarly dressed in a white leotard with a skirt of brown.  There were similar ruffles, bows, and jewelry set with chocolate diamonds, and the director noticed immediately that there was a time theme -- clock faces worked into the tiara and necklace, an hourglass design at the end of her staff, and now that he looked closer, the skirt was encircled with numbers, so that, if viewed from above, it would resemble a clock.

"Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in my apartment?" he demanded.  "How did you get past security?"

"Hal Lundquiest," said the one on the right, "My name is Continuitae, Avatar of Continuity, and this is my companion Saturnae, Avatar of Time.  In two months you begin shooting on the most important movie of your career.  We're from the future, and we need to talk...."

There was a brilliant flash of light, and a creature that looked like an oversized baby in a toga appeared.  He extended his hand.  "I AM THE REALITY BENDER!" he exclaimed.  "I COME HERE FROM BEYOND THE STARS TO oh dang, I see you've already got this...."

FINI