Historically Accurate
Mark A Davis
080
In a noisy diner on Kansas City, a woman wearing jeans and a shirt with a squared-off geometric Celtic knot on the front sat across from a muscular boy in a black "Anarchy Forever" tee. The chatter of other conversations and the clink and clatter of kitchen noise drifted over them. The woman raised an eyebrow. "What did you think of the movie?" she asked.
"Anarchy Forever? It was awesome!" the man exclaimed. "I think Phoenix Burhan was born to play Grandpa Anarchy -- if Grandpa were young, and handsome, anyway. And A.J. Love was an especially creepy Carnival Act."
"It was certainly a worthy sequel to Anarchy Rising, I'll give it that much," said the woman. "Too heavy on the special effects, and too many plot inconsistencies...."
"Yeah, but it's a movie," the guy said. "I try not to critique too much. I'm there to be entertained."
"I critique everything," the woman replied. "It's kind of my obsession." She extended her hand. "Nice to meet you again, Mighty Tim."
"Likewise," Tim said. "You were at the premier weren't you? I saw you on tv, color commentary from the one and only Kid Continuity."
The woman frowned. "Yes. Not one of my better moments, I'm afraid. Anyway, I've got a particular proposal that I wanted to run by you today."
The waiter arrived with their meals. Tim took a massive bite of his hamburger, then spoke through a mouthful of food. "Sure, Kid Continuity. Fire away."
"You liked working with Grandpa Anarchy, didn't you?" Kid Continuity said.
"Heck yeah!" said Mighty Tim. "He's a legend! It was the best time of my life! I could have done it forever."
"Really? And why didn't you?"
"Same reason as you," Tim said. He took another bite of hamburger and kept speaking. "Hard to make a living on a paycheck of nothing a week. It was a learning experience unlike any other, but at some point you have to realize that it's in your own best interest to strike out and make a name for yourself."
"Touche," said Kid Continuity. "That was my problem too -- I wanted to do more, to branch out on my own. And actually, that's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm interested in forming a new hero group."
The man's eyes widened. "Okay," he said, "I'm listening...."
***
The room was one-part museum and one-part rpg gamer's paradise. Archaeological treasures lined the shelves. A large fossilized bone sat on the coffee table, beside small jars of paint, brushes, and several half-finished lead models of orcs and wizards. Game books and dice were scattered everywhere.
Sprawled on one end of the couch was the woman known as Natural Twenty -- a first-class geek who looked remarkably like Velma from Scooby Doo, only dressed in jeans and a Halo tee shirt. Her roommate walked into the room with a pitcher of iced tea and a plate of cookies and seated herself at the other end. This was Ravella the Traveler, a tall, beautiful, dark-skinned woman with long, straight black hair. She wore khaki shorts and a black tank top.
"We haven't seen you two since Tap Day," said Ravella. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"
Kid Continuity glanced to Mighty Tim, seated beside her. "Actually, I had intended to contact Twenty," she said. "I had no idea you were roommates."
"We've been teaming up since our Anarchy days," said Natural Twenty. "It's hard to establish yourself as a solo hero, and we kinda compliment each other. Ravella's turning into a really good fighter -- her boyfriend Sun Wukong has been training both of us -- and she's naturally good at planning and solving riddles, while I'm more instinctive and spontaneous."
"Ah," said Kid Continuity. "Well, that's sort of what I wanted to talk to you about. Mighty Tim and I are forming a team...."
Natural Twenty sat up. "You're like, the number one expert on superhero history," she said. "Ain't that right? Anything you're involved in probably means fighting a lot of the old guard."
"Very probably," agreed Kid Continuity.
"Okay then," said Natural Twenty. "Give us the elevator pitch."
***
Three women and two men sat around a table in a low-lit restaurant. The walls were decorated with items from ancient empires and bygone eras. The walls were covered with photos of a tall woman in various strange locations, often posed with exotic dead animals. She typically wore a khaki shirt and shorts and a pith helmet, and carried a massive weapon that was one-part elephant gun and one-part body-mounted laser carbine.
"The Slice of Time Bar and Grill?" said Ravella. "Why have I not heard of this place before?"
"It's an exclusive restaurant," said a boy dressed like a World War I fighter pilot, complete with leather jacket and goggles. "Membership is by invite only, and it's quite expensive. But don't worry, I have everything covered. Marianna is a good friend of mine."
"That's incredibly generous of you," said Ravella the Traveler.
"Don't mention it," the man replied. "I've been doing work for Marianna, I can afford it. I'm honored to meet four of the best sidekicks to work with Grandpa Anarchy in the last couple of years."
"You were an extremely effective sidekick yourself, Wayback Lad," said Ravella. The man blushed.
Kid Continuity stared at the menu. "This restaurant serves food from other times? From the past?"
"That's right," the man replied. "I highly recommend the blackened chinlia, it's very good, and includes a pilaf of rice and spices from the Ionian or Middle Pleistocene era. The brontosaurus burger is always popular, even if it's really Apatosaurus, and it looks like the special tonight is giant sloth steaks."
"Wow, this is amazing," said Natural Twenty. "I guess time travel really opens a lot of doors, huh?"
"For some reason," said Mighty Tim, "I feel I should worry about the food being fresh..."
"Oh, no worries there," said Wayback Lad. "Time travel is essentially instantaneous, and Marianna has a time-travelling cold storage unit. Everything is as fresh as if it were killed yesterday -- which it kind of was."
"Then I'm going for the bronto burger," said Mighty Tim.
"The blackened chinlia sounds good to me," said Kid Continuity.
"I'll have that as well," said Ravella.
Once they'd ordered, Kid Continuity sat back and leveled her gaze at Wayback Lad. "So? Have you thought further on my proposal?" she asked.
"I have," he replied.
"What I'm proposing really hinges on your involvement. What do you say?"
Wayback Kid grinned. "I think it sounds like a fantastic opportunity. Working with the four of you? We'd make an incredible team."
Kid Continuity smiled. "We will," she said. "We will."
***
Wind blew down the street, stirring dust and trash. A man walked the sidewalk, collar up to protect from the cold. As he passed an alleyway, a voice spoke from the darkness.
"Timothy Attix?" the voice asked. The man quickly spun about.
"Who wants to know?" he demanded. He drew a gun from his coat.
"Or should I say the Cunninham Syndrome?" the voice continued. A woman stepped out of the shadows. She wore blue and white spandex with an unusual patterned symbol on her chest -- a sort of squared-off Celtic knot.
"Two days ago you fought Grandpa Anarchy," she said. "You got away. Grandpa never fought you again. History doesn't say what happened to you -- or why the bombs that you had planted in six major cities around the world never went off. I think it's time someone found out."
"Screw you, witch!" the man yelled. He pulled the trigger. Something flashed in the air, and time seemed to freeze for a moment. "Bullet proof shield!" a voice called out. A silvery object landed on the ground. "Twenty!" the voice crowed.
Time sped up. A shield materialized in front of the woman in white and blue. The bullet ricocheted off.
Several people rushed out of the alleyway -- a muscular man in red and black tights, a dark-skinned woman dressed like an explorer, and another woman dressed like a medieval knight. In seconds the man was pinned to the concrete.
The woman in white and blue leaned over. "Now we know what happened to you, Syndrome. You ran into the Continuity Crusaders. And you're going to tell us everything about these bombs and how to remove them...."
FINI
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