My Clone Sleeps Alone

My Clone Sleeps Alone

Mark A Davis

269

It was an oval room, like the inside of a squashed balloon.  Smooth white walls curved in a seamless line from floor to the ceiling, broken only by two round windows of thick glass that looked out onto darkness.  Dim lights illuminated the space, within which were shadowy table surfaces and couches and little else, save a spiral staircase descending into the floor.  All was quiet.  It was like a space station, but through the portals no stars were visible.

Sudden shadows swirled at the center of the room, and a portal into another place appeared -- a place of fire and explosions.  Six people jumped through -- one carrying a seventh.  Leading them was a tall man dressed all in black and with the bearing of one in charge.  He had black hair and a black beard, dark glasses and a black cape that billowed about.  Blood flowed from a cut on his cheek.

He spun about and extended a hand.  "FULMINIS!" he exclaimed.  Lightning flashed from his open palm and through the portal.

As the others poured through he yelled, "Quickly!  Hurry!"  Moments later the portal swirled shut and the shadows vanished.

"Dark Dr. Dark, what in Hades were they trying to summon?" asked a teenage woman in green and white power armor.  The suit was scratched and battered, but a circuit board pattern could be seen, with a kind of armored skirt and lower legs that resembled go go boots.  Across the chest were the words "Circuit Girl" in white letters outlined in dark green.  "Those glowing eyes gave me the creeps...!"

"A demonic entity named Weidachin," the sorcerer replied.  "He is a very powerful creature, fond of animating corpses, with whom I have tangled with before.  Though I had not been made aware previous to tonight that Agamemnon and the Stellar Council were likely to seek demonic aid...."

"Perseus and Andromeda escaped," said Circuit Girl.  "We'll need to track them down."

"Yes," replied Dark Dr. Dark.  "The Stellar Council have grown in strength over the last few years.  I fear we must consider them a major adversary from this point forward...."

"Forgive me, but is now the time to discuss this?"  The woman speaking was young and black, with cornrow braids and a spandex outfit that was part Nun habit, part star-spangled superhero spandex by way of Parliment or Funkadelic.  Her costume was also torn in several places.  "Grandpa Anarchy is dead!"

Dark Dr. Dark raised an eyebrow.  "Have no worry, Sister Fryer," he said.  "This is nothing which we have not encountered before.  That is precisely why I brought us here."

He glanced at another young girl, barely a teen, dressed in blue and black spandex that was ripped and torn.  She was tall and slender and was carrying the body of Grandpa Anarchy, dressed in his usual rumpled gray suit with the silver anarchy symbol over the left breast.  Blood soaked the front of his shirt.

"Unpossible Girl," he said, gesturing to a table.  "Set the body down there."

Circuit Girl removed her helmet.  "And where is here exactly?  Space?"

The last two women in the group had their names emblazoned on their chests just as Circuit Girl did.  The first was Geothermal Jenny, a woman in her mid twenties with dark skin and dark brown hair tied back in a long braid.  She wore a badly-damaged suit of red and white power armor similar to Circuit Girl's, but minus the skirt or go go boots.

The second was Girlbot 9000, who looked at first like another armored heroine, but on second glance was missing an arm and was obviously a robot.  She was short -- under five feet tall.

"We're still on earth," said Geothermal Jenny.  "I'm reading coordinates somewhere east of Guam...."  She glanced back at the thick windows, and her eyes narrowed.  She walked towards them.  "That would place us near the Mariana Trench?"

Dark Dr. Dark nodded curtly.  Girlbot 9000 said, "You built a secret base in the Mariana Trench?  Are you insane?"

"Oh my, no!" exclaimed Dark Dr. Dark.  "That would be quite impossible!  We're barely 2,000 meters below the surface -- only halfway to the abyssopelagic zone, which you'd need to pass through before you'd reach even the lip of the trench itself."

Geothermal Jenny's eyes crossed.  "Forgive me, sorcerer, but 2,000 meters below the surface of the ocean is still over 200 atmospheres of pressure!"

"Yes," said Dark Dr. Dark.  "On the outside of this base, certainly.  But do not worry, it's very well built and protected by powerful spells...."

"That's deep into the midnight zone!" Jenny exclaimed.  "No wonder it's dark outside!  Light doesn't penetrate down here.  Why, by Gaia, would you build anything in such hostile conditions?  And more importantly, how did you do it?"

"Miss Jenny, I am the world's foremost sorcerer," said Dark Dr. Dark stiffly.  "Have some faith in my abilities.  I built this place with the aid of the Electric Bluejay and Miss X herself.  The League of Two-Fisted Justice has several such Resurrection Chambers around the globe.  One is located at my Sanctum Sanitorium at the North Pole.  That is Resurrection Station Sanitorium.  Another is located here, beneath the Pacific Ocean, in what is sometimes called the twilight zone.  I therefore call this Resurrection Station Twilight.  It is the most remote and inaccessible base we own -- even more remote than the Sanitorium, or my monastery retreat in Nepal.  When I really want to get away from it all, I come here.

"As for why build a base so deep beneath the ocean?  Can you think of a place more remote and inaccessible?  We do want to keep this base away from our enemies, for it serves a very important purpose.  One has to remember that I confront elder gods and eldritch horrors as a matter of course.  I have enemies the likes of which no normal hero can even envision.  But only a sorcerer as powerful as I can reach this point, and even then, only if they know exactly where to teleport to...."

Dark Dr. Dark paused, for someone was ascending the spiral staircase.  It was a woman in a flowing black robe with a hood that completely hid her features.  Dark Dr. Dark blinked in surprise.  "Oh!  I did not realize someone was already here!" he exclaimed.

"Do not worry, Bartholomew," the woman replied.  "I was just about to leave."  She glanced over the others, then down at the body of Grandpa Anarchy.  "Mr. Anarchy is doing much better," she added.  "Good day."

With a gesture, another swirling portal appeared.  She stepped through and was gone.

"Who was that?  What did she mean by that?" asked Sister Fryer.  "Can't she see that Grandpa's dead!"

"I am sure that she meant he will be better," the sorcerer replied.

"That," said Circuit Girl, "was Miss X?"

"I am not at liberty to say who that was," Dark Dr. Dark replied curtly.  "Come.  The Resurrection Chamber itself is on the lower level."

Most of the group, save Unpossible Girl, followed Dark Dr. Dark down the stairs.  They found themselves in a shadowy room with coffin-sized glass containers on each side.  These were filled with a viscous green liquid, but within each floated a naked human.  The faces were familiar.  Here was Daisy, Warrior Princess, and in the next chamber, Guy Shadow.  Across from them was Dark Dr. Dark himself, with Circuit Girl in the next tube.

Circuit Girl's eyes widened.  "Clones?"  Her voice squeaked.  "These are clones!  One for each member of the League of Two-Fisted Justice!"

"As well as key members of Temporary Superfriends, yes," Dark Dr. Dark replied.  "Permission to clone you is written into your contracts, but I understand if you didn't bother to read through them.  I began growing clones for each new member just after you joined last year."  He paused, looking over the collection of clone vats, and added, "The technology is, of course, patterned after the regeneration vat technology of the Eieio (pronounced Ee-Yow) Empire which is used by their 5-E division and the Society of Intergalactic Space Babes.  We set these up with the aid of our friends Jennie Nova and Llahna the Arellian from Kootah Delphi Seven.  Of course, our system is considerably more crude -- but should any member of our team be slain, I have the power to bring them back to life in short order."

Circuit Girl's eyes narrowed.  "I find it hard to believe that a supergroup which, until I came along, had an empty office in downtown Frosthaven NJ as its headquarters also has several secret and sophisticated bases of this sort hidden around the world.  Does Hearthrob 6000 know anything about this?"

"Your silly boyband computer A.I. is not welcome here," Dark Dr. Dark replied.  "Also, to forestall the next inevitable question -- yes, we have used this process, several times on Grandpa Anarchy, and as a master of the dark arts I can assure you that the resulting clone is always inhabited by Grandpa Anarchy's soul...."

"Wait," said Sister Fryer.  "Why didn't you use this stuff to bring my uncle Deep Fat Fryer back from the dead?"

"Alas," Dark Dr. Dark replied, "the entity known as the Reality Bender saw to it that your uncle's clones were removed.  It was his plan all along for you to replace your uncle, after all, and he is a god, of a sort, and very single-minded."

Dark Dr. Dark paused before an empty glass tube.  He frowned.  "Now, that's odd," he said.  "Grandpa Anarchy's clone appears to be missing.  Only I and Miss -- that is, that other woman whose identity I will not confirm -- have access to this base.  There is no door or gateway in or out."  He stroked his beard.  "The Reality Bender has access too, but she was just here.  But why would she...."

A thump came from the stairs.  The heroes turned.  There stood Grandpa Anarchy.  He had died less than twenty minutes ago, but his skin was gray and putrid.  Bone protruded in places, and his sunken eyes glowed an unearthly green.  He grinned, displaying long, needle-sharp teeth unlike any Grandpa had ever had.

"Weidachin!" Dark Dr. Dark exclaimed.

"I remember you," the creature rasped.  Its voice was like the sighing of the wind, and seemed to emanate from all about them.  "You're that puny sorcerer who has impeded my path to this mortal realm several times now.  I have business with you...."

Dark Dr. Dark began to chant, but the creature raised its hand.  Black energy crackled and shot across the room, stabbing the sorcerer in the chest.  The chant broke off as Dark Dr. Dark screamed in pain.  He fell to his knees.

A naked man leaped from the shadows and shoved something into the undead creature's jaw.  He punched the thing in the face.  There was a hiss and a scream like that of the wind in a storm.  The thing toppled over, its lower face dissolving as smoke spewed forth.

"Holy water," the naked man said.  They saw now that it was Grandpa Anarchy.  "Even against an undead demon like Weidachin, it's effective.  Miss X added some kind of spell to it, too...."

Dark Dr. Dark stood and straightened his clothing.  "Who?" he asked.  He strode forward and began to chant, banishing Weidachin with eldritch spells.

Grandpa rolled his eyes.  "Sorry, my mistake.  I meant that mysterious unnamed woman who will certainly chide you later for leaving my corpse in the upper room.  Now, if it's not any trouble, do you think you could magic me up some spare pants...?"

FINI