Magical March 23: Bunny Blues

Magical March 23

Bunny Blues

Mark A Davis

334

A thirty-foot-tall fluffy stuffed bunny was threatening downtown Rio de Janeiro.  It was pink.  Anger flashed in its button eyes, and it grinned maniacally.  Its plushie arms bounced harmlessly off a glass and steel tower, having no effect.  In the distance atop a mountain, Christ the Redeemer welcomed the invader with open arms.

"Wow," said Rhode, a magical girl guide who appeared as a coal black terrier, "That's incredibly cute.  Do we really have to banish it?"

"It may seem cute and harmless," said Sita, "but it is an incursion from a dark dimension and intends to cause harm.  If we don't act, it might find a way to inconvenience the poor people of this city...."  Sita was in her animal guide form -- which was not so much that of an animal, but a floating ball of fur with eyes and bunny ears.

"Well then," said Rhode, "I guess this situation calls for a magical girl."

Iria Castelo was a brown-skinned girl and a native of Rio de Janiero.  The two guides had this morning given her a magic wand of white and lavender, which more than most resembled an over-sized  plastic baby's rattle.  They'd told her that she could become a magical girl, and that her name would be Mahou Shoujo Dreamtime Dorothy.  She was mostly okay with this.  Gaining powers and fighting a giant stuffed bunny sounded like fun.

"You know, there's real crime in Rio de Janeiro.  Gangsters have gun battles in the streets.  Hundreds of people die each year.  So why are we fighting giant stuffed animals again?"

"Can you think of a better enemy for a pijama-themed magical girl to fight?" asked Sita.

"I get that," said Rhode.  "But where are they coming from, exactly?"

"We're not sure," Sita said.  "Possibly arranged by a powerful goddess named Eternia the Watcher, or possibly by the Dark Magical Girl Division of Hell, or possibly dark forces in general conspiring to counter us at every turn.  We've attempted to get more information, but...."

"Our informant network seem woefully inadequate," said Rhode.

"Yes," said Sita.  "Almost as if they're being interfered with...."

"What?" asked Rhode.

"Nothing," Sita said.  "I'm perhaps suspicious by nature.  Although it doesn't help that a lot of our information specialists have been reassigned as magical girl guides, since we've got so many new girls and we're so short-handed...."

Rhode said, "Hey, I was transferred from information gathering... oh."

Iria held the wand before her.  "Okay," she said, "I'm ready.  What do I do?  Guide me!"

"Just hold the wand out like you're doing now," said Sita, "and say Mahou Shoujo Dreamtime Dorothy Wake Up."

"Wake up?" she asked.

"Well, you are a bedtime magical girl," said Sita.

"You know," said Rhode, as Iria was lifted into the air and spun about, "you could do an entire super team based on people who are primarily associated with sleep.  You'd have Sleeping Beauty, the Sandman, Rip Van Winkle, Little Nemo... um... someone else who sleeps a lot...."

"Absolutely no more team ups," said Sita.  "Lakshmi will back me up on this."

"But...." Rhode began.

"No."

Mahou Shoujo Dreamtime Dorothy landed, now dressed in her magical girl outfit.  This consisted of a lavender babydoll nightie with white lace trim, and matching bloomers. There were no boots, but she did have bunny slippers with floppy ears.

The girl stared down at herself.  "Dios Mio!" she exclaimed.  "What is this?"

"That's your outfit," said Rhode.  "Sita did most of the design, but I helped...."

"I look like a baby in this!" she exclaimed.  "Who in Hades dresses like this?  Nobody over three years old..."

"Oh," said Rhode, "I think you're underestimating people.  There are grown adults who enjoy dressing like little kids, for whatever reason...."

The girl glared at him.  "You are not disproving my point," she said.

"Well, it's your magical girl costume," said Rhode.  "We already designed it so it's too late to turn back now."

"We can always alter..." Sita began.

"Nope!" Rhode announced.  "Already decided!  No chance to change it!"

A massive pink stuffed arm crashed down, knocking them all back in different directions.  Dreamtime Dorothy scrambled to her feet.  The stuffed bunny towered over her.

"We'll talk about this later," she said.  "At the moment, I've got plushie butt to kick...."

The girl scaled the bunny's leg and body.  She launched herself into the air before it and called out, "Mahou Shoujo Dreamtime Dorothy Dispossess!"  Lavender light flashed from her wand, enveloping the giant stuffie.  The giant bunny shook and shivered for several seconds, and then something like oily black smoke seeped out of it.  For half a second this inky cloud hovered in the air, and there was a face there, glaring malevolently.  Then it dissipated.

The bunny collapsed backward.  It landed against a building, its legs sprawled across the street.  There was no life left in its massive button eyes.  Nothing was smashed, but the thirty-foot tall plushie remained.

"Well," Rhode said after a moment, "that's... still an incredibly cute over-sized bunny...."

Dreamtime Dorothy landed beside them.  "Doesn't it go away?" she asked.

"Apparently not," said Sita.  "But I suggest we do, before the authorities arrive...."

FINI

Magical March 22: Bedroom Confessions

Magical March 22

Bedroom Confessions

Mark A Davis

333

Ysolde was a beautiful angel -- well, technically former angel, having been excommunicated from the Angelic Council -- with long, straight lavender hair, large white wings, and who wore a flowing white gown.  You couldn't look at her and not think 'angel'.  At the moment she was standing on a street in Denver, CO, with Octava, another former angel who appeared in human form as a young boy of maybe fourteen years with long blonde hair.  He was wearing a tee-shirt and jeans.

Sunlight glinted off glass towers high overhead.  Here in the valley between buildings, out of direct sunlight, the air was cool.  It was a busy afternoon in downtown Denver.  Cars honked and rolled past.  Shoppers and office workers mingled on the street.  Nearby a delivery driver unloaded boxes from a double-parked truck.  A McDonald's burger box lay in the gutter, along with the usual city street grime.

People stared.  "Pssst!" Octava hissed.  "You wings...."

Ysolde raised an eyebrow.  There was a quick flash of light, and she was just a normal woman with brown hair, dressed in a business suit and skirt.

"My apologies.  It has been some time since I was out on assignment," she said.  "Now, I want you to go about your business while I observe.  There have been several reports of irregularities, and I wish to get to the bottom of the problem."

Octava looked like a boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  "Right," he said after a moment.  "Well, Daesdamona and I have been working on a magical girl group...."

"Indeed," said Ysolde.  "The Europa Sailor Senshi, I believe you call them?"

"Yes, right," Octava said.

"And they are combating a dark magical girl group?"

"Not a group sent from the Dark Magical Girl Division of Hell, that I know of," said Octava.  "Not magical girls at all, really.  There's a Queen Sable of Titan, and her minions are all men -- princes named after other moons of Saturn."

"I see," said Ysolde.  "Magical girls who are reincarnated from an ancient Kingdom on Europa and the other moons of Jupiter, whose enemies come from the moons of Saturn?"

"That seems to be it," he said.

"And where did these enemies come from?" asked Ysolde.

"Um..." Octava said.  "They're... in the back story that we created for the group?"

"You made them up, and then they just appeared?" asked Ysolde.  "That's most irregular."

Octava turned and headed into an apartment high rise.  Ysolde followed.

"Well," he said, "Icarus has a theory about that.  It kind of happened to him too... this evil dwarf appeared after he created a magical girl based on Rose Red, from the fairy tale of Snow White and Rose Red.  There's a dwarf in the tale as well.  He thinks that dark forces are conspiring to provide enemies for our girls specifically because we're flooding the world with magical girls at the moment.  Sort of a desperate attempt to keep the scales balanced.  That's his theory, at least."

"A credible theory, actually," Ysolde said.  "I shall have to look into it.  This was not unanticipated by management...."

"Really?" Octava asked.  "Upper management knew this was likely to happen?"

Ysolde pursed her lips.  "I did not say upper management anticipated it," she replied.  "Still, it is not a surprise to me or other division heads...."

They rode an elevator to the 12th floor.  "I understand that your magical girls have had dreams of their past lives?  Dreams of this back story that you wove for them?"

"I..." Octava began, again caught off guard.  "That is... I'd call them alleged dreams.  I mean, they've talked a lot, but these are junior high school girls.  I can't control the hyperactive imaginations of teenagers, you know."

"Ah yes, I suppose that's a fair point," said Ysolde.  "So, you've created a Princess Gloria of Europa -- that was the royal assignment.  You created Princess Creda of Callisto, and that was your sailor assignment...."

"They all wear sailor seifuku, of course," said Octava.

"And then there was Princess Valentina of Io, and she was the warrior magical girl," said Ysolde.  "But your back story speaks of a Princess Verity of Ganymede, so you have one girl left to add.  Please explain how this girl qualifies as a bedroom magical girl."

"She... dreams of her past life?" Octava suggested.  "When she's asleep?  In her bed?"

Ysolde frowned.  "I really don't think that works," she said.

"Look," said Octava, "obviously the original plan here was to draw a picture of a magical girl in her bedroom.  Think of all those scenes of Sakura Kinomoto and Kero-chan up in her bedroom in the anime.  But how do you go from that to a bedroom-themed magical girl?"

"Well, you could..." Ysolde began, then paused.  "No, strike that.  That would not be appropriate for a young magical girl."  She sighed.  "Yes, okay, I'll allow it this time -- but it does seem to me that you're not really following the spirit of the challenge...."

Octava sighed.  The two of them arrived outside an apartment door.  "Are we ready?" he asked.

"Are you sure you've selected the right girl?" asked Ysolde.

"Yes," Octava replied.  "She's a friend to Tiffany Whitherspoon -- that's Princess Gloria of Europa, the head of the group -- and she attends the same private school as the other girls...."

"That being Eternia Private Academy for Girls," said Ysolde.  Octava nearly winced at the name.

"Uh... yes," he said.  "We've already planted... that is, April Mae Rice here has dreamed of being the princess from Io.  I mean, we sort of suggested it to her... subliminally, I guess...."

"Interesting," said Ysolde.  "I'm unfamiliar with that technique.  You'll have to demonstrate it for me some time."

"Sure," said Octava.  He shrank down and became a white bunny.  Ysolde shrank and became a large white cockatoo.

"You know," said Ysolde, "a lot of what you're doing here could be done so much better with the aid of an outside force... a god or goddess willing to help, for example.  There are several who might qualify."

"I... what?" Octava asked, stunned.

"There was one such goddess," said Ysolde.  "I've forgotten her name, but she was a being of immense power who helped us found Nibiru, but chose not to participate in our mission.  Someone like her can be useful at times.  She could, for example, establish ruins on Europa that would fool any scientist, since she would actually place them there 5,000 years ago.  She could provide dreams for your magical girls too -- so they wouldn't simply working from stories you told them.

"Mind you, you'd have to do it without informing me," she added.  "Upper management would not condone such interaction with outside forces.  But it might have made this magical girl team setup of yours much easier...."

"I'll... keep that in mind," Octava said.

In a flash, the two appeared in a girl's bedroom.  She was seated at a desk before a computer.  She had brown hair and glasses.  Octava coughed, and the girl turned about.  Her eyes went wide.

"Good afternoon, April Mae," said Octava.  "My name is Octava, and I'm here to help you become a magical girl...."

FINI

Magical March 21: Corporate Bunny

Magical March 21

Corporate Bunny

Mark A Davis

A collection of former angels and former devils, former gods, humans, demi-humans and animals were gathered around a large marble conference table in a room without walls.  The sun was warm and bright.  Birds sang in nearby trees, and a cool breeze blew through marble columns.  It was a beautiful setting for what was, in reality, another boring corporate meeting for the Alpha Initiative in Nibiru.  At the head of the table sat Ysolde -- a beautiful former angel with white wings and long, straight lavender hair.  She was dressed in a flowing white gown -- which counted as button-down corporate attire in this place.  She was the immediate supervisor of Magical Guides division.

"I recalled you all back to Nibiru," said Ysolde,"so that we could update our progress.  I realized you are all very busy...."

"No kidding," Octava muttered.  "I'm trying to work on a magical girl as we speak...."  Octava appeared as a young boy with long blonde hair and cherub wings.

"Yes," said Ysolde.  "However, it has come to my attention that there has been some miscommunication and irregularities in fulfilling these assignments...."  She glared at Octava and Sita.  Both were suddenly quite interested in something in the trees above them.

"All I want to know," said Lakshmi, "is are we done yet?  It feels like we've been doing this forever...."  In her angelic form Lakshmi looked like a young girl with tanned skin, white cherub wings and pink hair.

"No, we are not even close," said Sita, a very beautiful angelic girl with long black hair and large white wings.  "We are currently working on Day 21, the theme of which is animal.  I guess Octava is doing that?  Also I believe Octava is still working out the details for Day 22, bedroom, and Icarus is working on something for Day 24, sci fi, but we are still effectively five days behind schedule."

"I'm so worn out," said Icarus.  "I can barely remember what we've done."  The former angel had dark skin, white hair, and jet black wings, and was dressed like a mid-70's rock star in leather and with a silk shirt open to the navel.

"Well, let's review, shall we?" said Ysolde.  "Day One's theme was favorite character, and Octava took the lead."  She studied the holographic display in front of her.  "You... transformed a thirty-year-old Hindu man named Edi Bedi into a  fourteen-year-old Japanese girl?"  She blink in surprise.  "Am I reading this right?"

"Sayaka Miki from Puella Magi Madoka Magica was his favorite character...." Octava said.  "Anyway, Magical Soldier Savitha is doing fine...."

"I'll let her guide speak for her," Ysolde said.  "Circe?"

A red-haired angel with pink wings perked up.  "Ah!  Yes.  She's doing fine!  We've ironed out all of the complications, she's fine with being a girl, and she's been protecting Providence, RI."

"Very good," said Ysolde.  "Although I caution against transforming adults into children, especially of the opposite gender."  She consulted her screen again.  "Now, for day two we had the theme of Pokémon, and I see that we empowered a young Pokémon fan named Sofia Alejandra Istallarte.  Merope?"

An animal sitting on the conference table itself -- a kind of half-bunny, half-squirrel with large blue eyes -- said, "Sofia can summon real Pokémon to aid her.  She's quite young, so she's been handling low-level magical girl stuff in Chicago parks... you know, stopping muggers, rescuing trapped pets, helping people find lost items...."

"It also says here that she's defeated an arch-duke of hell?"  Ysolde raised an eyebrow.  "Someone named Sargothrox?  Really?  A nine-year-old girl?  Can you please explain?"

"That... was not a real battle," said Merope.  "Just a fight in Pokémon Go -- the computer game.  Sargothrox is addict to it -- he visits the mortal world to play."

"I'm just going to run through a bunch of these quickly, since everything seems to be in order," said Ysolde.  "Day three was sun, and we have Claudia Sanchez of Los Angeles, CA who transforms into Sailor Sunburst.  Her guide is Daphne.  Day four was moon, and Sally Fisher is based in Seattle, WA and becomes Serene Moon Sally.  Her guide is Echo.  I understand the two girls have worked together...."

"They make a good team," said Echo, a dark-skinned angel with white hair and black wings.  "Especially since Sita did not give Sally any actual attacks...."

"Her sleep spell is an attack!" Sita exclaimed.

"Yes, very good," said Ysolde.  "Moving on, we have day five which was stars, and we have a young girl named Abigail Van Hoffen in Poughkeepsie, NY who transforms into Stella Maris.  Meili is her guide."  She nodded at a black cat with short demon horns.

"On day six the theme was pets," said Ysolde.  "Chantelle Williams of Boston, MA transforms into Pet Summoner Pretty Chantelle, and can summon three different pets...."  She stared at her screen for a moment.  "A ghostly white tiger named... Mittens?"

"She named them herself," said a cat with a sour look on its face.

Ysolde glanced at the cat.  She raised an eyebrow.  ""Really, Azelle -- Grumpy Cat?"

"Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal!" the cat exclaimed.

Ysolde sighed.  "Very well.  Day seven was on the theme of flower.  For this Daesdamona created a quite lovely floral magical girl, Little Miss Larkspur...."

"Her full name is Pretty Flower, Lovely Little Miss Larkspur," said Daesdamona, a cartoonish demonic girl with red skin, bat wings and horns.

"Yes.  And for this we picked a boy named Sean Patterson...."  Ysolde paused to glare at Octava.  "Who, I understand, mainly does flower blasts?"

Octava shrugged.  "Seemed like a good idea at the time.  And they work!"

"Lethe is her guide," said Ysolde.  She stared at a brown-furred bunny.  "Lethe?  Do you have anything to add?"

The bunny looked startled.  "Me?  My name is Austin...."

Ysolde looked confused.  Further down the table a similar bunny raised its paw.  "I'm Lethe," it said.  "Nothing much to report.  Miss Larkspur is keeping the streets of Kansas City safe...."

Ysolde was staring at the first bunny.  "Excuse me," she said.  "Austin, was it?  Whose animal guide are you?"

"Oh, I'm not a guide, the bunny said.  "I'm Magical Bunny Boy Austin.  Here, let me show you...."  With a simple transformation phrase, the bunny flew up into the air and spun about.  When he landed, he was mostly human -- a boy with bunny ears, dressed in a a typical Playboy bunny outfit -- fishnet stockings, high heels, and a strapless black leotard body suit, along with white cuffs at the wrists.  "Only, the outfit's kind of embarrassing..." he added, "so I like the bunny form better...."  With a poof, the boy transformed back into a brown bunny.

"Goodness," said Sita.  "Have we not dressed enough boys up as girls yet?"

"But," said Octava, "it's a bunny outfit... get it?"

Ysolde glared once again at the blonde cherub boy.  "Octava, you brought a magical boy to a Nibiru corporate board meeting?"

"Hey," Octava said, "I told you I was still working on this!"

"Oh, don't mind me," the rabbit said.  "Just pretend I'm a fly on the wall... only you know, I'm a bunny rabbit, and there aren't any walls...."

FINI

Magical March 20: Majorette

Magical March 20

Majorette

Mark A Davis

331

"I'm just saying," said Lakshmi, "weird shit's happening.  Not just evil dwarves appearing from nowhere.  There's this Titanic Queen of Darkness fighting the Sailor Knights of Jupiter...."

Lakshmi was a magical girl guide who worked for Nibiru, a collective of demigods, fallen angels and reformed demons whose goal was to empower magical girls (and boys) to promote good in the mortal realms.  When she wasn't a white cat or a winged angel, Lakshmi appeared as a human, perhaps 18 or 19 years old, with long pink hair.  Today she wore jeans and a 50 Foot Wave tee shirt.

She and her companion Icarus were gathered, as they so often were these days, in a restaurant booth.  While it was true that a school yard, a forest clearing or meadow, or even a magical girl's upstairs bedroom made for a more traditional hangout for teaching magical girls, Icarus like to point out that none of those locations came with a southwestern skillet meal with Tabasco sauce, coffee, and extra bacon on the side.  When it came to the familiar stereotype of a magical girl guide who could never stop eating, Icarus fit the bill.

Like Lakshmi, Icarus appeared about 18 or 19.  He wore jeans and a leather jacket, dark glasses, and a black tee shirt with The Gits scrawled on the front.

A younger boy was with them.  He had short brown hair and appeared to be about 13 or 14.

"Am I going to fight this Titanic Queen of Darkness?" the boy asked.

"No," said Icarus.  "There is no Titanic Queen of Darkness.  Lakshmi means Queen Sable of Titan, and the Europa Sailor Senshi."

"Which are not better names," Lakshmi added.  "I should be naming these groups."

"Anyway, that's all the doing of the White-Haired One," said Icarus.  "She who I am not allowed to name or acknowledge.  It's not weird shit per se, just her meddling."

"Right," said Lakshmi.  "Then there's Sita's Fairy Force fighting against the Evil Fairy Overlord from another dimension...."

"Also thanks to the White-Haired One," said Icarus.  "And of course you mean Dark Realm Quartet, fighting the minions of the Dark Adversary...."

"Fairy Force sounds much better," said Lakshmi.  "Not to be outdone, we have Celerity the angelic magical girl, who has a demonic counterpart...."

Icarus bit his lip.  "See, this is where things get murky," he said.  "That's got nothing to do with the White-Haired One, I'm certain of it.  That's straight out of Hell's own Dark Magical Girl Division.  Not that we haven't tangled with them before, but I think it's not coincidence that they've jumped in now.  We've been producing new magical girls left and right, and that's bound to attract attention.  If dark forces take notice, that's not surprising.  Didn't the White-Haired One say she wasn't creating enemies for us to fight, just directing them our way?  I doubt that's hyperbole...."

"So... the more magical girls we make, the more evil gets stirred up?" asked Lakshmi.

"It's just a theory," said Icarus, "but it might be true, and it could explain that dwarf... I doubt evil wants us tipping the scales too much in our direction."

"But I'm a magical boy, right?" their young companion asked.  "Not a magical girl?"

"You have my word on it," said Icarus.

Lights flashed.  They heard the sound of fluttering wings, and suddenly two more people were seated at the table.  One had straight black hair, and wore sandals and a white dress that resembled a toga.  This was Sita, who insisted on appearing at all times as close to her traditional angelic dress as possible.   The second was also a young woman, this one with red hair and freckles.

"Greetings, Lakshmi, Icarus, and...."  Sita paused, staring at the young boy.  "Young male companion," she added.

"It's Alex," he said.  "Alexander Eades."

Sita raised an eyebrow, but then turned to her companion.  "This," she said, "is Angelica.  She'll be our new magical girl guide."

"An angel named Angelica..." Icarus repeated.

"Yes," said Angelica.  "I named myself."

"Angelica is a very new angel," said Sita, "and I chose her for a very specific reason.  You see, she died in 1944 in the Hartford circus fire.  She got her wings for saving multiple children before she died...."

"I see, and our theme is circus," said Icarus.  "That's a nice touch.  So you saved children, and they placed you with the Angelic Council?"

The newcomer nodded.  "Wait," said Lakshmi, "she was made an angel less than a hundred years ago, and she's already working with us?  That's a short time to get kicked out...."

"It... was a mutual decision, for me to leave," said Angelica.  "I wanted to do good, not just follow rules...."

The other three exchanged looks.  This was the exact reason all of them were ex-members of the Angelic Council.

"Yes, well... that's why Nibiru exists," Icarus said.  "Anyway, this is the boy in question, Alexander Eades.  He's thirteen years old...."

Sita frowned.  "Are we transforming boys into girls again?" she asked.

The boy's eyes widened.  "What?  No!" Icarus replied.  "Of course not!  He's a magical boy.  We can do magical boys, yes?  I was thinking a old-school ringleader look...."

"But," said Sita, "I was expecting a girl...."

"Well, you'll just have to adjust your expectations then," said Icarus.

"But I've already designed the costume," Sita said.  She placed a wand on the table.  It was a typical magical girl wand, resembling an over-sized baby's rattle or plastic toy.  The top held a gem far too large to be real, supported by three circus elephants.

Icarus raised an eyebrow.  "And this provides not just a costume change, but a body transformation as well?"

"Well, no," said Sita, "of course not.  I don't normally build in such things...."

"Then it does not make him a magical girl," said Icarus.

Outside, something fell from the sky.  The street exploded.  Bits of blacktop flew everywhere.  A car swerved, crashing into a telephone pole.  Standing in the street was a giant shadow woman at least fifteen feet tall.  She wore a silver crown, but her features were otherwise so black that she might have been a human-shaped black hole from which no light escaped.

"I am the Titanic Queen of Darkness!" she screamed out.  "Where is the magical girl that dares to challenge me?"

Icarus sighed.  "You win," he said to Lakshmi.  "Weird shit is happening."

Alexander snatched up the wand.  Immediately he was lifted into the air.  He spun about, just above his half-eaten Moons Over My Hammy.  His clothing vanished, to be replaced by a dress of red with a short skirt.  This was an old-school majorette uniform, with a tight bodice with gold braiding and frogging up the front, gold epaulets at the shoulders, and aiguillettes -- braided military cords strung from the shoulder to the top button at the neck.  Beneath the skirt -- and it was very short, so this was quite visible -- was a plethora of white ruffles, both from multiple petticoats and rhumba panties.  The legs were bare, and the boots were exactly what you'd expect of a majorette or baton-twirler at the head of a parade -- knee-high boots of white with a modest heel.

Alexander landed back in his seat.  "Um..." he said, staring down at the outfit.

"Well," said Icarus after a moment.  "That's very... what's the word...?"

"Girlish?" suggested Angelica.

"Very girlish, yes," said Lakshmi.  "Not what I imagined at all."

"I did try to warn you," said Sita.

 "Never mind!" Alex exclaimed. He dashed out of the restaurant and into the street. Holding his baton high overhead, he called out, "Circus Princess Alex, Attack! Human Cannon Ball!" The boy was lifted up and launched, head-first, into the shadow queen's stomach.

Lakshmi sighed. "Circus Princess Alex?" she said. "Really?"

"I'm so sorry," said Sita.  "I'd change it, if not for that dress...."

"Well," said Angelica, watching the ensuing fight. "The fan service freaks will be pleased, at least...."

FINI

Magical March 19: Red As Blood

Magical March 19

Red As Blood

Mark A Davis

330

Snow White and Rose Red fought a dwarf and his giant wolf.

Snow White wielded a glowing sword, which clanged and chimed like a bell as it bounced off the dwarf's bright steel armor.  Snow was an African-American girl named Jessica Sumlin, who transformed into Snow White, Warrior Princess.  She wore an outfit with a Disney Snow White color scheme -- short yellow skirt, blue bodice laced up the front, puffed sleeves which were slashed to reveal red beneath.

The dwarf swung a heavy flail -- a giant spiked steel ball on a chain.  Snow barely dodged it as she tumbled backwards.  The black-furred wold snarled and lunged, but was knocked aside by Rose Red's massive axe.  Rose was an Hispanic girl named Raquelle Mendez in an outfit similar to Snow's, but the dress and sleeves were red and the laced bodice was black, as were the petticoats.  There was also a red hood.

"Where did this dwarf come from?" Lakshmi exclaimed.  The guide was in her animal form -- that of a pure white cat.  Beside her was Icarus, a winged tabby cat.  They hid beneath nearby bushes.

"Jackroud Leatherspine's me name," the dwarf exclaimed.  "Capturin' little girls be me game!  Me heart's as black as me beard and the fur o' me trusty companion!"

He swung the flail around, forcing Rose to dodge.  In his off hand he wielded an ax.  He was short -- maybe four feet -- but out-massed the girls by double or triple.  His arms were thickly muscled, and he was clearly a skilled warrior, while the magical girls relied on instinct and magically-enhanced athleticism.

"I've got no idea where this guy came from," said Icarus, "but he's apparently their nemesis...."

"Don'tcha know yer legends?" exclaimed the dwarf.  "Snow White and Rose Red.  I be the enemy they fight!  Only they don't fights me in the legend, o'course, that's the job o' the prince...."

Rose held her ax aloft.  "Rose Red, Warrior Princess, Cleaving Blow of Love!" she called out.  She swung the ax downward, and a wave of energy split the earth, barely missing the dwarf.

The dwarf laughed like a man unhinged.  "Two kin play at that game, me Lassie!" he exclaimed.  "Leatherspine's Attack:  Flail Hail o' Hell!"  He spun the flail about over his head, and tiny blades of energy shot out in all directions.  They pierced and sliced the two magical girls like needles.  Both girls screamed.

Snow White raised her sword.  "Snow White, Warrior Princess, Cage of Ice and Snow!" she called out.  Ice spears dropped from the sky, surrounding the dwarf, forming a cage with bars of white ice.  He sneered and swung his flail, but it bounced off as if the bars were steel.

"Icarus?" Lakshmi called out.  "Care to explain?  This one was your idea...."

"There is a dwarf in the story,' said Icarus.  "See, Snow White and Rose Red are sisters.  Their mother is a poor widow.  Snow White has blonde hair and likes to stay indoors and read, while Rose Red has dark hair and likes to play outside."

The dwarf's beast was several times large than any normal wolf.  It was more warg than wolf.  It lunged and snarled, keeping the girls at bey while the dwarf worked on freeing himself.

"Sounds like a typical fairy tale setup," said Lakshmi.

"It is," said Icarus.  "So late one winter night, a bear begs to come into their cottage and warm up.  They let him in, and take care of him all winter.  He leaves in the spring, but warns of a greedy dwarf who stole his treasure.

"That summer they meet and save the dwarf several times but he's ungrateful.  One day they find the bear with the dwarf, and the dwarf pleads for his life and begs the bear to eat the two girls instead, but the bear kills the dwarf."

"The best fairy tales are full of death!" the dwarf yelled.  "But I got better!"  He cast a spell and his wolf companion grew ten times larger, towering over the two girls.  It shattered the ice cage with one paw.

"If ye wants to defeat me, yer gonna have ta kill me!" the dwarf exclaimed.  Again he spun his flail over his head, shouting, "Leatherspine's Attack:  Flail Hail o' Hell!"  Energy needles shot out, but this time Snow was prepared with a shield of swirling snow which protected both girls.

"Turns out the bear was an enchanted prince," Icarus finished.  "Killing the dwarf broke the spell."

"Well," said Lakshmi.  "it was a talking bear, after all...."

Snow White flew up into the air, sword held over her head.  "Snow White, Warrior Princess, Storm of the Blades!" she called out.  A whirlwind of swords flew at the dwarf, who laughed and batted them out of the air as if they were paper airplanes.

"Yes, but the girls don't do anything," Icarus complained.  "They don't figure out that the bear is enchanted, let alone break the enchantment.  They just happen to be present when the prince frees himself from the enchantment, and he marries one because I don't know why, they were nice to the bear I guess."

"None of which explains our dwarf here...." Lakshmi began.

"Rose Red, Warrior Princess, Mighty Swing of the Woodcutter's Ax!" Rose called out.  She brought the ax around in a wide arc, and the blade seemed to quadruple in size as descended on the over-sized wolf.  The ax cleaved through the beast's neck, severing its head.  Blood flew everywhere.

"Woofgang!  Nooo!" the dwarf exclaimed. 

"Ew!" Lakshmi exclaimed, as the head rolled nearly to her feet.

"I wanted a magical girl that did things," said Icarus.  "Frankly, I'm much more familiar with Rose Red from the comic Fables, by Bill Willingham."

"Never heard of it," Lakshmi replied, still eyeing the dead wolf head.

"Because you don't read comics," said Icarus.  "If they'd turned it into a television series, instead of stealing the idea to create Once Upon A Time... well anyway in Fables, Rose Red is kind of the bad girl to her sister Snow White's good girl.  She parties a lot, gets in trouble, bounces from one relationship to another...."

"I'm the bad girl?" Raquelle asked.

"No, let me finish!" Icarus said.  "She's first and foremost a girl of action.  She kicks butt and takes names.  The point is, I sort of combined two Snow Whites together, and I combined Rose Red with Red Riding Hood, and...."

"And I've got a red hood and I wield an ax," said Red, "and I kick ass!" 

She rose up in a mighty leap, and her ax swung about.  Again she called out the Woodcutter's Ax attack.  Snow attacked at the same time.  The dwarf parried Snow's blade with his own ax, but Rose Red's ax blade smashed through the armor at his neck.  More blood spurted, coating the magical girls in gore.

The dwarf's head rolled down beside that of the wolf.  It looked up at Lakshmi and Icarus and winked.  "Ye didn't think ye were gettin' the fairy tale ending without spilling blood, did ye?"it said.  "More fool you!"

Snow and Red leaned on each other, both breathing heavily.  The dwarf's head was still.  Lakshmi looked ill.  She said, "This is so not how I expect a magical girl battle to go...."

"I get the feeling," said Icarus, "that we're no longer playing by our rules...."

FINI

Magical March 18: Warrior Princess

Magical March 18

Warrior Princess

Mark A Davis

329

"No," said Lakshmi.  "Absolutely not.

Icarus stared at Lakshmi from across the table.  The two former angels and current agents for the pro-magical girl entity known as Nibiru were seated in a North Carolina diner.  Icarus was a handsome young man dressed a bit too much like a rock star, with a leather jacket, silk shirt open down the front, and leather pants.  His counterpart Lakshmi had long pink hair, which did not exactly earn fewer sidelong glances from the regular patrons.

"You're only saying that because you haven't really given it any thought," said Icarus.  "I mean, just imagine it...."

"No," Lakshmi replied.  "No, no, no, no.  Also:  No!"  She was busy sketching in her virtual computer pad as her southwestern omelette grew cold.

"Elsa controls ice," said Icarus.  "Rapunzel has magical hair...."

"If you had paid any attention to the movie," said Lakshmi, "then you would know that Rapunzel's magical hair has been cut off.  Also:  NO!"

"Moana can control water," said Icarus.  "Sort of, after a fashion, and there's Mereda with her bow and arrows, she's basically Hawkeye, and Mulan is a trained warrior...."

"No," said Lakshmi.  "A thousand times no!"

"But the Magical March theme for day 18 is Disney," Icarus said.  "We have to do it!"

"No we don't," Lakshmi replied.  She waved her hand, and her artpad momentarily vanished.  She glared across the table. "You can whine and complain all you want, Icarus, but we are not going to form another magical girl group...."

"But... a Magical Princess Avengers team!" he exclaimed.  "It's perfect!  It would be so awesome!"

"However awesome it might be," Lakshmi said, returning to her drawing, "it's not happening.  Managing an entire team is too much work.  Look, Sita just finished assembling a team which she is the adviser for, Octava and Daesdamona are still struggling with their own team...."

"Exactly!" Icarus exclaimed.  "Now it's our turn!"

"No!" Lakshmi said forcefully.  "How many times do I have to say it?  We are not creating a whole third magical girl team -- we have too many other obligations."

"If we combine several themes," said Icarus.  "We eliminate those other obligations.  That's what Sita and Octava and Daesdamona have done.  We kill two birds with one stone.  Or three birds, or four...."

Lakshmi made a face.  "Do not speak of killing birds while I create a Snow White magical girl," she said.  "Birds are her friends."

"You're working on Snow White?" Icarus asked, perking up.

"Yes.  You will not find a more iconic Disney princess on which to base a magical girl.  She's the first of them, she has a look that's unmistakable, with the short bobbed black hair, the red hair bow, the yellow dress and the blue bodice with those puffed sleeves with red cutouts... you can merely suggest some of that with the appropriate colors and a similar sleeve and neckline -- say a short skirt in yellow with lolita petticoats, a laced-up bodice of blue with those classic Snow White sleeves -- and people automatically think:  Snow White!  Very simple to do."

"And you call her... what?" he asked.  "Magical Princess Snow White?"

"Something a little more complex than that," said Lakshmi.  "Something a little less obvious, a little less straightforward, like...."

"Mahou Shoujo Snow White?"

"No...."

"Pretty Soldier Snow White?"

"No...."

"La mujer lanco como la nieve?"

Lakshmi glared at Icarus.

"Snow White, Monster Slayer?" he suggested.

"Now you're just trying to troll me," she said.

Icarus shrugged.  "I kind of like Snow White, Monster Slayer," he said.  "Anyway, sounds good.  It's a start.  Then tomorrow is fairy tale, and that dovetails perfectly with a Disney theme.  Every Disney princess is based on one.  Snow White is a fairy tale princess, Beauty is a fairy tale princess...."

"We are not doing a full team," Lakshmi said again.  "End.  Of.  Discussion."

"But...."

"Listen to me," said Lakshmi.  "Today I am designing a Disney-themed magical girl.  Tomorrow we can decide what a fairy tale-themed magical girl might look like.  I am not designing a team of magical girls.  Not now, not tomorrow, not next week.  Understand?"

***

In a forest clearing, a girl with dark skin grasped a sword with a golden hilt.  She was lifted up into the air and spun about.  Her clothing seemed to melt and reform into new attire -- blue leather boots that laced to the knee; a short skirt that fanned out sharply from the waist, thanks to thick petticoats; a blue bodice that laced tightly up the front, with puffed sleeves, slashed to show red beneath a la the Disney version of Snow White.

The girl landed, sword still in hand.  She aimed it at an evil-looking creature creature made entirely of black armor, with a red glow emanating from the helm and shining between the armor pieces.  "Know, Sir Knight," she said, "that you now face Snow White, Warrior Princess!  I shall protect the people of this land!"

From under a nearby bush, Lakshmi and Icarus watched -- a pure white cat and a winged tabby cat.

"I'm glad I talked you into a dark-skinned Snow White," Icarus said.  "The white in Snow White need not refer to her skin."

"Well, technically the tale specifies skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as black as ebony," Lakshmi said.  "But for a take the Disney version, I feel we don't need to follow the pattern of the story...."

As the girl engaged the spectral knight in combat, Icarus said, "You know, there are two Snow White fairy tales.  In the other, she has a sister named Rose Red...."

"No," Lakshmi said.  "No team."

"Not a team," said Icarus.  "Just a duo."

"No."

"Well," said Icarus after a moment, "I can just do it myself.  You're not the boss of me, after all...."

FINI

Magical March 17: Noble Steed

Magical March 17

Noble Steed

Mark A Davis

328

Celerity was an angel -- or at least, an angelic magical girl.  She was a young woman but tall and powerfully built, with the muscles of a weight lifter.  She had dark skin but braided blonde hair that shone like sunlight, and wore bright silver armor -- breastplate, pauldrons, greaves, vambraces -- that flashed like polished steel in the noonday sun, even though the skies were overcast.  Her pleated skirt was as white as new-fallen snow, and she swooped down over the city streets like a hawk or eagle, on feathered wings of white.

Ahead was her foe -- a creature of black soot and twisted limb.  It towered over nearby buildings, more than two feet in the air, and skittered about on long, thin limbs, like a giant, spider-like harvestman, or a creature made entirely from black pipe cleaners.  This was just the latest minion of Indolencia, the demonic magical girl who opposed Celerity. 

As she swiftly approached, the creature spit acid -- a sticky, tar-like substance that splattered and burned and corrupted.  Celerity dodged.  Steam rose from blackened ground where the liquid landed.  She drew her sword, which shone like molten metal, and sliced through three of the creature's limbs.  She spun and flew straight up.  The creature thrashed about in silent pain.  Holding her sword before her, Celerity called out, "Purifying light of Heaven, Cleansing Blade!"

A beam of bright light descended from they skies, piercing the creature through its center.  The creature froze, then desintigrated.

Celerity landed on the street below.  A new person appeared -- a woman with skin as black as India ink, dressed in flowing black robes with a high collar.  She had wild black hair, and yellowed horns that curved about her head like those of a goat.

"Indolencia," Celerity said.

"So!  You have defeated my corruption spider!" the demonic woman said.  "Victory is yours -- for now!  I shall return tomorrow with a new plan to defeat you and corrupt this city to its core.  Ha ha ha ha ha!"

The dark magical girl vanished.  Celerity sheathed her sword.

A badger as black as night separated from the shadows of a nearby alleyway and padded out to greet the angelic magical girl.

"You did a good job, Celerity," the badger said.

"My thanks, Nyx," the magical girl replied.  "However, I can not help but feel that, in opposing Indolencia, I am not truly bringing more light or love or justice to the world.  She and I were created at the same time.  To what point?  Is it not true that, should I not exist, then neither would Indolencia?  Her evils are only brought into existence so that I might banish them; together we are a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I only fight that evil which exists as a counter to my existence."

"Don't stress too much or overthink it," said the badger Nyx.  "I know it seems like a pointless game, but at best we're keeping an agent of the Dark Magical Girl Division of Hell engaged and therefore in check.  Otherwise they might decide to do something else, and cause real trouble.  And to be honest, few magical girls can say that they are directly opposing agents of Hell."

"That is a noble cause, I do admit," Celerity said.  She paused as a white ball of fur with large brown eyes and bunny ears popped into existence.  "Sita?" she asked.

"Celerity, Nyx," Sita said.  "Greetings."  Although one could not read expressions on a ball of fur, Celerity had the distinct impression that Sita was glaring at Nyx.  Sita had designed Celerity's costume and powers, and had chosen her name -- an angelic magical girl had been something of a pet project for her, and she'd expressed great disdain that a guide for an angelic magical girl would choose the form of a black badger.  But Sita had her own hands full, if a ball of fur could be said to have hands, with a team of magical girls further south.

They had also argued over Celerity's name.  Nyx was of the opinion that a magical girl with a one-word name was not a proper magical girl at all.

"How goes things?" Sita asked.

"So far so good," Nyx replied.  "Indolencia presents a new threat nearly every day, and Celerity counters it...."

As he spoke, three winged fairies flew down from the sky and landed beside Sita.  They were two girls and a boy, and they darted through the air like dragonflies.  Celerity had met them before -- Fairy Princess Bluebell, in a flower-like dress of deep violet; Fairy Princess Foxglove, in a similar magenta dress; and Fairy Knight Hollyhock, who wore a pink tunic that was almost a dress, and pink bloomer that were not quite shorts.

"Greetings, Dark Realm Quartet," Celerity said, lowering her head slightly.  In point of fact, they were not a quartet yet, or had not been when last they met.  "What do you this far north?  Eugene is where you fight your battles, while Portland is my realm to defend."

"We're on the trail of one of the Dark Adversary's minions," said Foxglove.  "We go wherever our enemies are found."

"This is probably going to be our toughest battle yet," said Bluebell.  "You're welcome to join us if you like, Celerity."

"We'd appreciate the help in battle," added Hollyhock.

The angelic girl frowned.  "While the Kingdom of Portland is mine to defend," she said, "my enemies are not the minions of the Dark Realm.  I have my own foes to contend with...."

"The... Kingdom of Portland?" Hollyhock asked.

"You know," said Foxglove, "you don't get any brownie points for talking like that."

Celerity raised an eyebrow.  "Do you have concerns with my manner of speech?"

"Only that it sounds incredibly pretentious," Foxglove said.

"Sis is right," said Bluebell.  "I mean, you're not a real angel, are you?  That's just your magical girl form.  The rest of the time you're just a high school girl like us.  Try being a bit more down-to-earth...."

Hollyhock raised a hand.  "I hate to keep pointing this out," he said, "but I am not a girl...."

"Nor am I," said Foxglove.  "I'm your brother, remember?"

"Right now you're a girl," Bluebell pointed out.

As they bickered, a girl in an aquamarine dress rode up on a white unicorn -- a muscular stallion with a shining horn protruding from its forehead.

Celerity's eyes widened.  "Mermaid Princess Nisha," she said, inclining her head.  "May I say that this new steed of yours is a magnificent creature...."

Nisha slid off the unicorn's back.  "Oh, he's much more than that," she said.  "May I present to you the last member of our quartet:  Unicorn Knight Sterling."

The unicorn transformed into a well-muscled and very handsome boy in white armor, with a sword and shield.  He had blonde hair, blue eyes, and tanned skin.  A horn still protruded from his forehead.  Celerity was quite tall for a girl, but Sterling stood several inches taller.

He bowed low.  "Greetings, Celerity.  It is an honor to meet the angel who guards the city of Portland," he said.

Celerity felt her knees grow weak.  "I... that is..." she said, stumbling over her words.  "I was just... saying that I would love to accompany your quartet on your quest to engage a minion of the Dark Adversary...."

"You were?" asked Foxglove.

"Yes," Celerity said more forcefully.  "Also, I can imagine nothing finer than if I could ride into battle on the back of a noble unicorn...."

"But," said Hollyhock, "surely you're an angel who can fly...."

Celerity blinked.  She glanced at her white wings.  "Oh," she said.  "Right.  Flight.  I mean, if you like that sort of thing...."

FINI