Magical March 20: Majorette

Magical March 20

Majorette

Mark A Davis

331

"I'm just saying," said Lakshmi, "weird shit's happening.  Not just evil dwarves appearing from nowhere.  There's this Titanic Queen of Darkness fighting the Sailor Knights of Jupiter...."

Lakshmi was a magical girl guide who worked for Nibiru, a collective of demigods, fallen angels and reformed demons whose goal was to empower magical girls (and boys) to promote good in the mortal realms.  When she wasn't a white cat or a winged angel, Lakshmi appeared as a human, perhaps 18 or 19 years old, with long pink hair.  Today she wore jeans and a 50 Foot Wave tee shirt.

She and her companion Icarus were gathered, as they so often were these days, in a restaurant booth.  While it was true that a school yard, a forest clearing or meadow, or even a magical girl's upstairs bedroom made for a more traditional hangout for teaching magical girls, Icarus like to point out that none of those locations came with a southwestern skillet meal with Tabasco sauce, coffee, and extra bacon on the side.  When it came to the familiar stereotype of a magical girl guide who could never stop eating, Icarus fit the bill.

Like Lakshmi, Icarus appeared about 18 or 19.  He wore jeans and a leather jacket, dark glasses, and a black tee shirt with The Gits scrawled on the front.

A younger boy was with them.  He had short brown hair and appeared to be about 13 or 14.

"Am I going to fight this Titanic Queen of Darkness?" the boy asked.

"No," said Icarus.  "There is no Titanic Queen of Darkness.  Lakshmi means Queen Sable of Titan, and the Europa Sailor Senshi."

"Which are not better names," Lakshmi added.  "I should be naming these groups."

"Anyway, that's all the doing of the White-Haired One," said Icarus.  "She who I am not allowed to name or acknowledge.  It's not weird shit per se, just her meddling."

"Right," said Lakshmi.  "Then there's Sita's Fairy Force fighting against the Evil Fairy Overlord from another dimension...."

"Also thanks to the White-Haired One," said Icarus.  "And of course you mean Dark Realm Quartet, fighting the minions of the Dark Adversary...."

"Fairy Force sounds much better," said Lakshmi.  "Not to be outdone, we have Celerity the angelic magical girl, who has a demonic counterpart...."

Icarus bit his lip.  "See, this is where things get murky," he said.  "That's got nothing to do with the White-Haired One, I'm certain of it.  That's straight out of Hell's own Dark Magical Girl Division.  Not that we haven't tangled with them before, but I think it's not coincidence that they've jumped in now.  We've been producing new magical girls left and right, and that's bound to attract attention.  If dark forces take notice, that's not surprising.  Didn't the White-Haired One say she wasn't creating enemies for us to fight, just directing them our way?  I doubt that's hyperbole...."

"So... the more magical girls we make, the more evil gets stirred up?" asked Lakshmi.

"It's just a theory," said Icarus, "but it might be true, and it could explain that dwarf... I doubt evil wants us tipping the scales too much in our direction."

"But I'm a magical boy, right?" their young companion asked.  "Not a magical girl?"

"You have my word on it," said Icarus.

Lights flashed.  They heard the sound of fluttering wings, and suddenly two more people were seated at the table.  One had straight black hair, and wore sandals and a white dress that resembled a toga.  This was Sita, who insisted on appearing at all times as close to her traditional angelic dress as possible.   The second was also a young woman, this one with red hair and freckles.

"Greetings, Lakshmi, Icarus, and...."  Sita paused, staring at the young boy.  "Young male companion," she added.

"It's Alex," he said.  "Alexander Eades."

Sita raised an eyebrow, but then turned to her companion.  "This," she said, "is Angelica.  She'll be our new magical girl guide."

"An angel named Angelica..." Icarus repeated.

"Yes," said Angelica.  "I named myself."

"Angelica is a very new angel," said Sita, "and I chose her for a very specific reason.  You see, she died in 1944 in the Hartford circus fire.  She got her wings for saving multiple children before she died...."

"I see, and our theme is circus," said Icarus.  "That's a nice touch.  So you saved children, and they placed you with the Angelic Council?"

The newcomer nodded.  "Wait," said Lakshmi, "she was made an angel less than a hundred years ago, and she's already working with us?  That's a short time to get kicked out...."

"It... was a mutual decision, for me to leave," said Angelica.  "I wanted to do good, not just follow rules...."

The other three exchanged looks.  This was the exact reason all of them were ex-members of the Angelic Council.

"Yes, well... that's why Nibiru exists," Icarus said.  "Anyway, this is the boy in question, Alexander Eades.  He's thirteen years old...."

Sita frowned.  "Are we transforming boys into girls again?" she asked.

The boy's eyes widened.  "What?  No!" Icarus replied.  "Of course not!  He's a magical boy.  We can do magical boys, yes?  I was thinking a old-school ringleader look...."

"But," said Sita, "I was expecting a girl...."

"Well, you'll just have to adjust your expectations then," said Icarus.

"But I've already designed the costume," Sita said.  She placed a wand on the table.  It was a typical magical girl wand, resembling an over-sized baby's rattle or plastic toy.  The top held a gem far too large to be real, supported by three circus elephants.

Icarus raised an eyebrow.  "And this provides not just a costume change, but a body transformation as well?"

"Well, no," said Sita, "of course not.  I don't normally build in such things...."

"Then it does not make him a magical girl," said Icarus.

Outside, something fell from the sky.  The street exploded.  Bits of blacktop flew everywhere.  A car swerved, crashing into a telephone pole.  Standing in the street was a giant shadow woman at least fifteen feet tall.  She wore a silver crown, but her features were otherwise so black that she might have been a human-shaped black hole from which no light escaped.

"I am the Titanic Queen of Darkness!" she screamed out.  "Where is the magical girl that dares to challenge me?"

Icarus sighed.  "You win," he said to Lakshmi.  "Weird shit is happening."

Alexander snatched up the wand.  Immediately he was lifted into the air.  He spun about, just above his half-eaten Moons Over My Hammy.  His clothing vanished, to be replaced by a dress of red with a short skirt.  This was an old-school majorette uniform, with a tight bodice with gold braiding and frogging up the front, gold epaulets at the shoulders, and aiguillettes -- braided military cords strung from the shoulder to the top button at the neck.  Beneath the skirt -- and it was very short, so this was quite visible -- was a plethora of white ruffles, both from multiple petticoats and rhumba panties.  The legs were bare, and the boots were exactly what you'd expect of a majorette or baton-twirler at the head of a parade -- knee-high boots of white with a modest heel.

Alexander landed back in his seat.  "Um..." he said, staring down at the outfit.

"Well," said Icarus after a moment.  "That's very... what's the word...?"

"Girlish?" suggested Angelica.

"Very girlish, yes," said Lakshmi.  "Not what I imagined at all."

"I did try to warn you," said Sita.

 "Never mind!" Alex exclaimed. He dashed out of the restaurant and into the street. Holding his baton high overhead, he called out, "Circus Princess Alex, Attack! Human Cannon Ball!" The boy was lifted up and launched, head-first, into the shadow queen's stomach.

Lakshmi sighed. "Circus Princess Alex?" she said. "Really?"

"I'm so sorry," said Sita.  "I'd change it, if not for that dress...."

"Well," said Angelica, watching the ensuing fight. "The fan service freaks will be pleased, at least...."

FINI