Magical March 26: Steel Drivin' Boy

Magical March 26

Steel Drivin' Boy

Mark A Davis

338

"Nephele won't have an answer for a few days," said Icarus.  "In the meantime Anath is working with Magical Cadet Kelly, so that's school uniform taken care of, and I  guess you've already set up a dark magical girl...."

"Dark in appearance only," said Sita.   "I'm still working with her."

"Then next is male."  Icarus frowned.  "Really?  Some of these themes...."

"I'll remind you again," said Sita, "this was an internet art challenge.  We just have to do the best we can with whatever topic we're handed, and it's not like creating a magical boy is hard."

Icarus, Lakshmi and Sita were once again gathered in a Denny's, this time in Atlanta, GA.  Icarus wore a System of a Down tee with jeans and his usual leather jacket and dark glasses.  Sita had for once been convinced to wear something other than the toga-like dress, but she instead wore white jeans and a white silk blouse with a ruffled front.  Lakshmi -- the one with pink hair -- wore jeans and a Disney Princess tee.

"Haven’t we already produced several magical boys?" asked Icarus, as he splattered Tabasco all over his southwestern skillet.

Sita frowned.  "Technically we’ve done four," she said.  "But by my count, we’ve only done one properly, and that’s my Unicorn Knight Sterling."

"What does that mean?" asked Icarus.  "I supposed Fairy Knight Hollyhock doesn't count?"

"His costume is too girly," said Sita.  "You took a dress meant for a flower-themed fairy girl and slightly altered it."

"Which does not disqualify him as a magical boy," Icarus pointed out.

"No, it doesn't," said Sita, "which is why I said that technically we've had four -- but only one that's properly male...."

"Now, wait a second," said Icarus, gesturing with the Tabasco bottle.  "Where does it say that magical boys have to dress a certain way?  Lots of magical boys have feminine outfits; it comes with the territory!"

"Yes, and I’m not arguing against that," said Sita, "I’m just saying that a proper magical male ought to be a little more manly…."

"So you are arguing that they don’t count," said Icarus, "just because of the outfit.  That's dumb.  That is not a valid argument.  Hollyhock should count, and so should  Magical Bunny Boy Austin and Circus Princess Alex."

Sita rolled her eyes.  "A boy in a playboy bunny suit, and a boy with princess in his name?  Really, Icarus?"

"Yes, really!" Icarus exclaimed, slamming the Tabasco bottle onto the table.  "They’re still boys.  That’s the point.  They're not magical girls, are they?"

"Of course they're not girls," said Sita.  "What they are is very girlish magical boys.  My point is that I want to create a magical boy who looks like a boy.  Is that too much to ask?"

"Austin looks..." Icarus began.

"Like a boy in drag," Sita said.  "Hollyhock might as well be wearing a dress, and Circus Princess Alex does wear a dress.  One designed to expose his panties, I might add."

"Yes, well, it was a magical girl design..." said Icarus.  "One designed by you.  But if you remove those panties, you'll see...."

"Let's not talk about stripping magical boys or girls, shall we?" Lakshmi interrupted.  "You two are overboard here.  Sita, Icarus has a point — technically we’ve produced four magical boys out of twenty-seven magical young people total.  We also have one transgender magical girl, two boys who turn into magical girls, and one non-gender specific magical boi who accepts female pronouns...."

Icarus stuck his tongue out at Sita.  She pretended to ignore him.

"But Icarus," Lakshmi continued," Sita also has a point — only one of our magical boys actually dresses like a guy.   That seems a bit disparate, don't you think?"

"Like I said, a lot of magical boys..." Icarus began.

"Dress like girls?  Perhaps, but surely not seventy-five percent of them," said Lakshmi.  "Now, here's my proposal:  we let Sita design the look and name of our magical boy, while Icarus and I will locate a suitable candidate."

"That... sounds reasonable," said Sita.

"Yeah, I’m good with that," said Icarus.

***

Muscles gleamed on the bare-chested Magical Drille Terrier Sam as he swung his steel-driving hammer.  It crashed into what was ostensibly the face of a twenty-foot iron monster.  The creature belched steam and oil.  It was part steam locomotive and part transformer robot, and had been tearing up the streets of Atlanta before the magical boy's arrival.

As the three guides watched -- now in their animal forms -- Lakshmi, in her white cat form, said, "Still with the appropriately-themed enemies popping up.  It's worrying."

Icarus the winged tabby said,"I'll just bet you think you're being really clever with that name, Sita."

The floating ball of white fur with eyes and rabbit ears which was Sita said, "Maybe I do, maybe I don't."

"Well, someone's been listening to too much old Irish folk music," said Icarus.  "Was it the Weavers, perhaps?  They did this song, and I think Makem and Clancey covered it as well."

"You are quite well informed on folk music for someone who dresses like a has-been rock star," Sita said.  "It was the Walkabouts, actually -- a folk-rock group from Seattle."

"Ah," said Icarus.  "Drill is not spelled with an E, you know."

"It is in the Walkabouts song," Sita replied.

"Also tarrier is spelled with an A," Icarus added.

"Not in the Walkabouts song..." Sita said.

"Also, a Drill Tarrier is not, as you seem to think, a job description," said Icarus.  "The actual song is Drill, Ye Tarriers, Drill.  A tarrier is someone who is a lazy roustabout -- someone who tarrys.  See, that's what the foreman is calling them.  You seem to think they're small dogs, or something,"

In this form Sita had no mouth, but you sensed she was frowning.  "You probably should have gone with a name like Magical Steel Driver Sam," Icarus said.

Lakshmi sighed.  "If," said Sita, "you are trying to ruin this moment for me, then you have failed."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Icarus replied.

"With your petty little criticisms," said Sita, "and with the candidate that you chose.  The only thing that matters is the results. I still like the name, and Magical Drille Terrier Sam is a fine magical boy.  He's very manly."

At that moment came a loud crack, as Sam finally split open the head of the steam-powered transformer robot.  The creature stumbled and fell sideways.

"Only," said Icarus, "when he’s not transformed into a boy named Sam, she’s a girl named Samantha…."

But Sita wasn't listening.  Her eyes were closed, and she was singing La la la at the top of her voice.

FINI