Magical March 23: Bunny Blues

Magical March 23

Bunny Blues

Mark A Davis

334

A thirty-foot-tall fluffy stuffed bunny was threatening downtown Rio de Janeiro.  It was pink.  Anger flashed in its button eyes, and it grinned maniacally.  Its plushie arms bounced harmlessly off a glass and steel tower, having no effect.  In the distance atop a mountain, Christ the Redeemer welcomed the invader with open arms.

"Wow," said Rhode, a magical girl guide who appeared as a coal black terrier, "That's incredibly cute.  Do we really have to banish it?"

"It may seem cute and harmless," said Sita, "but it is an incursion from a dark dimension and intends to cause harm.  If we don't act, it might find a way to inconvenience the poor people of this city...."  Sita was in her animal guide form -- which was not so much that of an animal, but a floating ball of fur with eyes and bunny ears.

"Well then," said Rhode, "I guess this situation calls for a magical girl."

Iria Castelo was a brown-skinned girl and a native of Rio de Janiero.  The two guides had this morning given her a magic wand of white and lavender, which more than most resembled an over-sized  plastic baby's rattle.  They'd told her that she could become a magical girl, and that her name would be Mahou Shoujo Dreamtime Dorothy.  She was mostly okay with this.  Gaining powers and fighting a giant stuffed bunny sounded like fun.

"You know, there's real crime in Rio de Janeiro.  Gangsters have gun battles in the streets.  Hundreds of people die each year.  So why are we fighting giant stuffed animals again?"

"Can you think of a better enemy for a pijama-themed magical girl to fight?" asked Sita.

"I get that," said Rhode.  "But where are they coming from, exactly?"

"We're not sure," Sita said.  "Possibly arranged by a powerful goddess named Eternia the Watcher, or possibly by the Dark Magical Girl Division of Hell, or possibly dark forces in general conspiring to counter us at every turn.  We've attempted to get more information, but...."

"Our informant network seem woefully inadequate," said Rhode.

"Yes," said Sita.  "Almost as if they're being interfered with...."

"What?" asked Rhode.

"Nothing," Sita said.  "I'm perhaps suspicious by nature.  Although it doesn't help that a lot of our information specialists have been reassigned as magical girl guides, since we've got so many new girls and we're so short-handed...."

Rhode said, "Hey, I was transferred from information gathering... oh."

Iria held the wand before her.  "Okay," she said, "I'm ready.  What do I do?  Guide me!"

"Just hold the wand out like you're doing now," said Sita, "and say Mahou Shoujo Dreamtime Dorothy Wake Up."

"Wake up?" she asked.

"Well, you are a bedtime magical girl," said Sita.

"You know," said Rhode, as Iria was lifted into the air and spun about, "you could do an entire super team based on people who are primarily associated with sleep.  You'd have Sleeping Beauty, the Sandman, Rip Van Winkle, Little Nemo... um... someone else who sleeps a lot...."

"Absolutely no more team ups," said Sita.  "Lakshmi will back me up on this."

"But...." Rhode began.

"No."

Mahou Shoujo Dreamtime Dorothy landed, now dressed in her magical girl outfit.  This consisted of a lavender babydoll nightie with white lace trim, and matching bloomers. There were no boots, but she did have bunny slippers with floppy ears.

The girl stared down at herself.  "Dios Mio!" she exclaimed.  "What is this?"

"That's your outfit," said Rhode.  "Sita did most of the design, but I helped...."

"I look like a baby in this!" she exclaimed.  "Who in Hades dresses like this?  Nobody over three years old..."

"Oh," said Rhode, "I think you're underestimating people.  There are grown adults who enjoy dressing like little kids, for whatever reason...."

The girl glared at him.  "You are not disproving my point," she said.

"Well, it's your magical girl costume," said Rhode.  "We already designed it so it's too late to turn back now."

"We can always alter..." Sita began.

"Nope!" Rhode announced.  "Already decided!  No chance to change it!"

A massive pink stuffed arm crashed down, knocking them all back in different directions.  Dreamtime Dorothy scrambled to her feet.  The stuffed bunny towered over her.

"We'll talk about this later," she said.  "At the moment, I've got plushie butt to kick...."

The girl scaled the bunny's leg and body.  She launched herself into the air before it and called out, "Mahou Shoujo Dreamtime Dorothy Dispossess!"  Lavender light flashed from her wand, enveloping the giant stuffie.  The giant bunny shook and shivered for several seconds, and then something like oily black smoke seeped out of it.  For half a second this inky cloud hovered in the air, and there was a face there, glaring malevolently.  Then it dissipated.

The bunny collapsed backward.  It landed against a building, its legs sprawled across the street.  There was no life left in its massive button eyes.  Nothing was smashed, but the thirty-foot tall plushie remained.

"Well," Rhode said after a moment, "that's... still an incredibly cute over-sized bunny...."

Dreamtime Dorothy landed beside them.  "Doesn't it go away?" she asked.

"Apparently not," said Sita.  "But I suggest we do, before the authorities arrive...."

FINI