Magical March 25: Tidal Wave

Magical March 25

Tidal Wave

Mark A Davis

336

"You’re a what now?" Grandpa Anarchy asked.

"We’re angels," said Octava.  "Well, former angels, technically...."

Grandpa pointed at Daesdamona, who had red skin, bat wings, and horns.  "That one don't look like no angel," he said.

Octava and Daesdamona had appeared a minute earlier in Grandpa Anarchy's basement.  The so-called Anarchy cave was a vast warehouse beneath the Anarchy mansion, filled with an extensive collection of obsolete crime-fighting equipment -- including, but not limited to:  a broken jet bike, an exo-skeleton which might very well harm the user, a flying saucer which worked but was no longer top-of-the-line, a rusting 1958 AMD Ambassador Station Wagon which didn't work, several crime-fighting robots from various eras dating back to the early 1960's, and a crime submarine in a special pool dock.

As usual Grandpa wore a rumpled gray suit with an Anarchy symbol stitched in silver over the left breast.  His current sidekick was here too -- a young girl with dark skin wearing an elaborate pinafore dress of pink and lavender.  The lower hem of the dress depicted scenes of cute bunnies murdering each other with all manner of weapons.  Her name was Ex Habitu.

"I am a reformed demon, of course," Daesdamona replied.  Her body shimmered, and suddenly she was just a normal girl of about sixteen.  She had dark skin, black hair, and wore jeans and a crop tee shirt.

"Don't believe in reformed demons," Grandpa muttered.  "Always claiming to be reformed as a ruse...."

"Isn't your lawyer Malevolent P. Brimstone, of  the Maxwell, Screwtape, Brimstone and Wormwood demonic law firm?" Daesdamona asked.

"That's right," Grandpa said, "and he's a good lawyer precisely because he's not reformed.  I wouldn't touch a reformed demon lawyer with a ten foot pole -- them types are as crooked as a Dow performance chart.  fallen angels are almost as bad -- can't trust the lot of them."

"But I'm a fallen..." Octava began, but Daesdamona shook her head violently.  "Moving on," he said, "we work for a pro-magical girl conglomerate called Nibiru.…"

"Oh," Grandpa said.  "You guys."

"You’ve heard of us before?" Daesdamona asked.

"Heard of you?" Grandpa repeated.  "Of course I have!  I’ve been to your fancy schmancy city in the clouds a half dozen times!  I’ve saved the place from invasion twice, and I've worked with your agents more times than I can count…."

"World's oldest active hero..." Octava said, sotto voce.

Daesdamona rolled her eyes.  "Of course.  I should have guessed."

"This is about all the magical girls, right?" Grandpa asked.

"Um... one magical girl," said Octava.  "Your sidekick actually.  We'd really like to sponsor her.  See, we have a quota to meet, on a variety of themes, and today's theme is casual outfit.  I know the Lolita dress is not exactly casual, but I say that casual is in the eye of the beholder.  She doesn't transform, so it probably counts, and it would help us immensely if we didn't have to create another magical girl...."

"Yeah, yeah," said Grandpa.  "There's a tidal wave of magical girls coming.  I already got the full spiel from the other guys."

Octava blinked in surprise.  "Other guys?"

"A tidal wave of magical girls?" asked Daesdamona.

"There's a whole convention of you guys here," Grandpa said.  He lead them around a stack of boxes and into a sort of lounge area, with a series of couches and chairs and a large computer monitor on the cavern wall to one side.  There were a number of people here, most of whom Octava and Daesdamona knew.  Here was Icarus, an teenage boy in a leather jacket, boots, jeans and dark glasses.  Lakshmi was beside him, with long pink hair and in a jeans skirt and a Ramones tee shirt, with knee-high leather boots.  A third woman they also recognized -- the heroine F8Wasp, in a form-fitting outfit of silver and black with long black hair.

Xenagalmok was here as well -- the demoness who went by Xena and worked for the Dark Magical Division of Hell.  She was, on a purely technical level, the enemy.  She had pale white skin, curved horns, and long red hair in two braids, and wore a black Lolita dress with striped tights, black boots with metal spikes, black lipstick and black nail polish.

The last three they didn't know -- a woman in her twenties with shoulder-length brown hair in jeans, a red shirt and a brown bomber jacket, and two nearly identical girl robots -- one in white and grey, the other in red and black, with small demonic horns.  They also noticed the woman depicted on the computer monitor, who resembled a 19th-century librarian.

"Octava!  Daesdamona!  Darlings!" Xena exclaimed.

"Uh..." Octava began, "what are you all doing here?"

"I just provided the robots," said F8Wasp.

"Xena was just leaving," said Lakshmi.

"Now don't be like that, Lakshmi," Xena said.  "We're having a lovely time here...."

"Do I get an animal guide?" asked Ex Habitu.

"Eventually," Octava replied.

"Like I said, a tidal wave of magical girls," said Grandpa.  "See, I know how this works.  All your new magical girls will register with Jay's Temporary Superfriends, and I'll have nothing but magical girl sidekicks for the next six months...."

"I don't think...." Octava began, but just then the elevator doors slid open, and Jay Medberry -- the face of Temporary Superfriends, the sidekick temp agency -- stepped out, followed by several magical girls.  Here was Magical Soldier Savitha -- who resembled Sayaka Miki of Puella Magi Madoka Magica, and here also was Stella Maris and Sailor Sunburst.

"Now," Jay said, "this is the famous Anarchy Cave.  I'll introduce you to Annie Two, the computer that runs this place, and... oh look, here's Grandpa Anarchy now, along with...." he paused, then added, "multiple magical girls and their guides?"

"Oh!" Sailor Sunburst said.  "It's Octava and Daesdamona!  Hello again!"

"Case in point," said Grandpa.

FINI